Fatmerica


The OECD (Organinization for Economic Cooperation and Development) put out a report estimating that by 2020, 75% of Americans will be obese. Article. If I know my math, that means in 10 years, there is a 75% chance that I will be fat. Lots of research is being done as to why America is so fat, and what can be done to stop it. I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on though. Eating is the best, and running sucks. I’ve had moments staring into my Chipotle burrito, where the thought crossed my mind, that this was the greatest moment of my life. All of the work and struggle, love and loss, health issues, you name it – all cured in this moment by my new burrito friend. My pillow of food. Then the friend is gone, and you want another, and you go back through the Chipotle line, knowing that if you eat fast enough, your stomach won’t realize that you’re full yet. So then you’re eating Burrito number 2 (not as great as burrito 1 by the way) and about halfway in, your stomach catches on to what’s going on. You wrap up your burrito, regretting the waste of money, and the pain that now fills your stomach, and you go find a bed somewhere (or a sidewalk) and curl up into a food coma. When you wake, it’s 6 pm, the sun has set, and your head is heavy. You’ve missed five calls, a meeting, and four hours of work you had planned to do. You’re in a panic, that quickly subsides when you realize it’s almost dinner time, and you have half of that second Chipotle burrito, waiting in the fridge.

I think the other issue with obesity in the US over other countries, goes back to the old saying, “better finish your plate, because there are starving kids in Africa.” Now we have this odd food guilt built in whenever we eat, and we’ve lost track of why. Now we’re just like, “Well, you better eat a lot…cuz it helps Africa. No, don’t get a salad, get the buffet – if you eat salads, Africans get tortured. I think. That’s what I heard anyway. Just keep eating, don’t even worry about it, just keep eating. I’m not fat, I’m a philanthropist.”

This is just a sample of the way I think about food, and I’m not even fat. At least, not to my knowledge. Now I’m worried someone will read this and think, “Wow, Joe doesn’t even know that he’s fat. Can you believe the denial he’s in?” Sure, I could probably stand to lose 10 pounds, but at that point, I’d practically be skinny, and who wants to be skinny with winter approaching? Not me, that’s for sure.

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